Marriage Advice

Hamza and I
Hamza and I









I completed my last scholastic assignment today, conducting a mock interview of a homicide suspect with a role player.  We were only given 45 minutes; I am afraid I was still building rapport and establishing baselines when time ran out.  In my defense, I would not have transitioned to a hard interrogation in a real case that early, there was still too much investigation left to do and too much information left unknown.

Friday marked the end of three of my six classes.  Ethics, Officer Involved Shootings, and Statement Analysis are now complete.  Monday I have to finish my post academy fitness testing in physical fitness (I may have gotten worse) and I have my last class in Leadership.  I also have a field trip to the National Archives in Leadership tomorrow, that I will need to attend.  Tuesday I have my last class in Death Investigation, that will complete my academic requirements here.  Based on the grades I have seen, I am expecting all A’s for my classes.  I could not let Kathryn beat me out this semester!

I spent Friday afternoon organizing photographs.  I ordered 8×10 prints of my section’s group photograph for each person in my section and about 500 4×6 prints of various shots; my plan is to give those to my section classmates on Monday.  I think I am the only section photographer making prints. 

After I completed that, I wandered out to the grove.  It was a small gathering tonight, I think a lot of people went home this weekend.  Hamza was there, along with Alexander from Ukraine and Marian from Romania.  Hamza just finished celebrating Ramadan but he showed up with a big bottle of wine; Hamza is already a very gregarious person, the wine only helped in that regard.  He shared some valuable marriage advice that I believe I need to find a way to incorporate.

His most important advice regarding wives is that you need more than one.  Hamza has two.  He is in charge of narcotics operations in Nigeria and he says two wives is all he can afford; his boss has three wives.  Of course, he has several girlfriends as well but he advises against letting your wives know about them.  Apparently how it works in Hamza’s household is whichever wife sets the table is the wife who has bedroom duty that night.  He does not have to remember any schedule, he just pays attention to who sets the table.  Any trading of nights is taken care of between the wives.  Personally, I like this delegation of responsibility.   Oh, Hamza also has a farm.  The farm income is used to support the household, his income from his law enforcement job is for his personal use (and used to support the girlfriends).  You know, sometimes in the west we are biased and think we have it all figured out; there is a lot we can learn from people in other countries, don’t you think?

One of my classmates asked what happened if his wives could not get along.  The answer in Nigeria is easy, all Hamza has to do is tell whichever of his wives he deems to be the problem that they are now divorced and the marriage ends.  I imagine this conserves a lot of judicial resources as well.  According to Hamza, there is no tax on pensions in Nigeria; I think I should put Nigeria on the short list of places to retire to.  Smile with tongue out

That is it from here.  This is my last weekend on campus.  In five days, Tracy, James, and my parents will be here  (after this posting, I should probably be glad there are 700 miles between Tracy and I right now).  There are times I think the FBI National Academy exists in some kind of time distortion bubble; in many ways it seems like I just got here but at the same time it seems like I have been here forever.  In any case, I am looking forward to getting back home.  This has been a great experience that I would not trade but I miss my wife something fierce, even if I only have one of them!

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2 Responses to Marriage Advice

  1. Tracy says:

    I see that you made an attempt to redeem yourself in the last sentence, but I’m afraid the damage is already done. Is it only five days until I’m up there with you? And how will I ever get a weapon through TSA security? Ah… but I am a woman with a purpose and I’ve been married for nearly nineteen wonderful years to a man who has taught me some of the art of strategy. But nineteen years has also taught me the virtue of patience; you never know when the above post will return to haunt you. In any case, I may not be setting the table any time soon and, since I control the cutlery, neither will anyone else!

    Love you, Dear!

    Your First, Favorite, and Final Wife

  2. tlethbridge says:

    Hmmm, I will consult with Hamza and see his advice is for situations like this. 😛

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